“Man will tell woman he will die for her, but I say, tell woman that you will die for her both physically and interior”

“Because, in an empty bedroom with creaky old wood floors, it is a natural human response to just stand there and shift your weight from foot to foot, and think about sex.”

“You know, nothing ever goes back exactly the way it was. Things just expand and contract. Like the universe, like breathing. But youll never fill your lungs up with the same air twice. Sometimes, i...”

“Expired condoms are like nuclear waste: there's nothing sensible you can do with it.”

“I was certain about this: In the best new language, there would be no words for me or you. Those words have caused all the trouble started by the old languages. In any new language, there should on...”

“It's no wonder I became a monster, too.”

“I love that you get cold when it's 71 degrees out. I love that it takes you an hour and a half to order a sandwich. I love that you get a little crinkle above your nose when you're looking at me li...”

“I've got about ten things to say to you right now. But at least nine of them would make me sound like a psycho.In spite of the seriousness of the situation, I nearly smiled. Whats the tenth thing? ...”

“A truly happy woman drives some men and almost every other woman absolutely crazy”