“Some people say Earth is the bottom level of Purgatory.' She pointed toward the floor and frowned.'I call it the top floor of Hell.”

“You wish for what's called wooing. This customary game, where the man shows the woman that resistance is impractical, strikes me as quite pointless.”

“Just in front of her lay the Congaree Swamp National Forest. To prove it, a mosquito the size of a kitten landed on her arm and prepared to drill.”

“I woke up as the sun was reddening; and that was the one distinct time in my life, the strangest moment of all, when I didn't know who I was - I was far away from home, haunted and tired with trave...”

“I let out a laugh that sounded more like the yip of a startled poodle. "Superp-powers? I wish. My powers aren't winning me a slot on the Cartoon Network anytime soon... except as a comic relief. Gh...”

“To be haunted is to glimpse a truth that might best be hidden.”

“You sure you're not just trying to get into my pants?" I joked, but I was already trying to figure out what one wears to a detox session in her boyfriend's dungeon-like bedroom.”

“Lip-locking with a supernatural hottie to save your little brother doesn't count as kissing.”

“That smoke you smell is me frying your brains every time we kiss longer than twenty-three seconds.”