“If you're not going to use your free speech to criticize your own government, then what the hell is the point of having it?”

“It is the moral duty of every US voter to guarantee that Barack Hussein Obama is a one-term president.”

“To speak only one language is to do yourself a great injustice.”

“I think we can all agree that the official language of the United States should be Latin.”

“I question the moral integrity of anyone who says they have no regrets.”

“In a truly moral society, most of our current laws would not exist.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”

“...but there's always he'll want to torture your boss anyway. Just recreationally, I mean.""Wow that would be terrific," I said”

“I have one word to say upon the subject of profound writers, who are grown very numerous of late; and I know very well the judicious world is resolved to list me in that number. I conceive therefor...”

“Uh, excuse me, sir, I, uh, don't known how to uh, to uh, tell you this, but you were three minutes late. The schedule is a little, uh, bit off."He grinned sheepishly."That's ridiculous!" murmured t...”