“Youve seen the movies. Bad guy always comes back.”

“Whats up with all these guys not realizing theyre bisexual? Heres the clue, buddy, when youre around another dude and you get a hard-on, you might be bi.”

“That life is far too short to waste on grudges. Love does not come along often. When it does, you cant throw it away because it isnt perfect.”

“This was taken when my brother was last on leave. My moms new boyfriend took it. Now theres an insane person. Well, hes from the next town over. Everyone in that freaking town is butt-fuck crazy. I...”

“Excuse me. What did you say to me? For your information Danielle, the stick up my ass has served me well over the years. I will not be removing it, but I might have something to shove up yours when...”

“Thanks, babe. It takes true talent to get your ass whipped.”

“Don't get your panties in such a twist... and give me back mine.”

“Listen, I'm bossy. I can't help it. It's who I am and what I do. I'm pushy and I like to take over. But I'm going to work really hard not to do so much and your going to try and accept me the way I...”

“Possess. Have. Hold. Enjoy. Control. Dominate. Pick your verb, Ms. Fairchild. I intend to explore so very many of them.”