Suicide is a form of murder premeditated murder. It isnt something you do the first time you think of doing it. It takes some getting used to. And you need the means, the opportunity, the motive. A successful suicide demands good organization and a cool head, both of which are usually incompatible with the suicidal state of mind.Its important to cultivate detachment. One way to do this is to practice imagining yourself dead, or in the process of dying. If theres a window, you must imagine your body falling out the window. If theres a knife, you must imagine the knife piercing your skin. If theres a train coming, you must imagine your torso flattened under its wheels. These exercises are necessary to achieving the proper distance.The debate was wearing me out. Once you've posed that question, it won't go away. I think many people kill themselves simply to stop the debate about whether they will or they won't. Anything I thought or did was immediately drawn into the debate. Made a stupid remarkwhy not kill myself? Missed the busbetter put an end to it all. Even the good got in there. I liked that moviemaybe I shouldnt kill myself.In reality, it was only part of myself I wanted to kill: the part that wanted to kill herself, that dragged me into the suicide debate and made every window, kitchen implement, and subway station a rehearsal for tragedy.
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About Susanna Kaysen
Susanna Kaysen was a contemporary American author. Susanna Kaysen is an American author, best known for her 1993 memoir Girl, Interrupted. Read more on Wikipedia →