“If we adopted Jack," I quip, "we'd have to give him combat pay for an allowance”

“You don't get to be the president of anything if you have bad manners.”

“When you f*** a Vampire, you get a free hat.”

“Consider this a one-thousand horsepower divorce, sweetheart”

“How come they get to be gray-haired and still in love with each other, while Lilly tears out what's left of my heart and dumps it into her Jill-The-Ripper shredder?”

“My turner Mah'Lor is with me forever as well. At least his head is.”

“Louis said, "There ought to be a comic book about geeks."Dr. McNaughton said, "There are books about geeks."He said, "There are?"Dr. McNaughton said, "I'll read you some Faulkner sometime. I'll rea...”

“This was the face of slavery. To have nothing, and still have something more to lose.”

“He that communicates his secret to another makes himself that other's slave.”

“Who covets more is evermore a slave.”