“If you're gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you've crossed it first.”

“99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.”

“A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.”

“I wish all those who've found God, would tell the rest of us where he's been hiding.”

“Writing is the dragon that lives underneath my floorboards. The one I incessantly feed for fear it may turn and devour my ass. Writing is the friend who doesn't return my phone calls; the itch I'm ...”

“A little stupid is like a little forest fire. If you happen upon some stupid, please stomp it out before it spreads.”

“There is only one God and all atheists will learn that after their deaths”

“Nature is what we know. We do not know the gods of religions. And nature is not kind, or merciful, or loving. If God made me the fabled God of the three qualities of which I spoke: mercy, kindness...”

“Nobody that has seen a baby born can believe in god for a second. When you see your child born, and the panic, and the amount of technology that is saving the life of the two people you love most i...”

“Creationists eagerly seek a gap in present-day knowledge or understanding. If an apparent gap is found, it is assumed that God, by default, must fill it.”

“If there's a God out there, then i would hope he has more important things to attend to than my drinking scotch or eating pork.”

“I had a standing agreement with god. I'd agree to believe in him, barely, so long as he let me sleep in on Sundays.”

“The dripping blood our only drink,The bloody flesh our only food:In spite of which we like to thinkThat we are sound, substantial flesh and blood--Again, in spite of that, we call this Friday good.”

“...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.”

“Joy is thankfulness, and when we are joyful, that is the best expression of thanks we can offer the Lord, Who delivers us from sorrow and sin.”