“My kids are starting to notice I'm a little different from the other dads. "Why don't you have a straight job like everyone else?" they asked me the other day. I told them this story: In the forest...”

“I like beautiful melodies telling me terrible things.”

“There ain't no devil, only God when he's drunk.”

“The large print giveth and the small print taketh away.”

“The Universe is making music all the time.”

“The world is a hellish place, and bad writing is destroying the quality of our suffering.”

“The power to cause pain is the only power that matters, the power to kill and destroy, because if you can't kill then you are always subject to those who can, and nothing and no one will ever save ...”

“If you want to tell people the truth, make them laugh, otherwise they'll kill you.”

“Smartass Disciple: Master, why should people love each other ?Master of Stupidity: Well, orgasm is felt better than kill each other.”

“One day you will kiss a man you can't breathe without, and find that breath is of little consequence.”

“The sunlight claps the earth, and the moonbeams kiss the sea: what are all these kissings worth, if thou kiss not me?”

“Stephen kissed me in the spring,Robin in the fall,But Colin only looked at meAnd never kissed at all.Stephens kiss was lost in jest,Robins lost in play,But the kiss in Colins eyesHaunts me night an...”