“Despite my ghoulish reputation, I really have the heart of a small boy. I keep it in a jar on my desk.”

“Friendship is like peeing on yourself: everyone can see it, but only you get the warm feeling that it brings.”

“why do we personify time? Is it because were afraid to admit that our lives are measured by an abstract force that neither knows nor cares about our entry into existence? Or our departure into deat...”

“Evil exists everywhere. Sometimes I think our limited senses are designed to protect us from awareness of its presence. We trust them to provide us with knowledge but it may be that they block out ...”

“Horror is the removal of masks.”

“The man who can smile when things go wrong has thought of someone else he can blame it on.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”