“You made me feel alive again.”

“I guess the sacrifice of my dignity is the only thing that will save us now. The things I endure for love. The Fates laugh at my torment.”

“Leaving would imply suitcases and empty drawers, and late birthday cards with ten-dollar bills stuffed inside.”

“Oh, we're playing nice now? Shall we have tea first? Brew up a nice pot of kiss-my-ass?”

“Touch her, and I'll freeze your testicles off and put them in a jar. Understand?”

“Oh that looked painful," called another Puck, a little farther down. "We really need to talk about your anger-management problems.”

“A lady's imagination is very rapid; it jumps from admiration to love, from love to matrimony in a moment.”

“I've always said that idleness dulls the spirit. We have to keep the brain busy, or at least the hands if we don't have a brain.”

“If your workplace was somehow transplanted into the jungle and everyone was forced to survive at a very primitive level, it's safe to say that eventually your boss would rape you.”