“It's like I'm thirteen again and he's my crush. All I'm aware of in this entire roomful of people is him. Where he is, what he's doing, who he's talking to.”

“Can't you just like a girl who likes you back?''None of them likes me back. I may as well like the one I really want.”

“She blushed and so did he. She greeted him in a faltering voice, and he spoke to her without knowing what he was saying.”

“Guess our sex is hot, we start fires.”

“I won't sugarcoat shit. You're tiptoeing on the line between batshit crazy and sane.”

“Payback's a bitch, but thankfully those tissues are only full of snot and tears instead of dead little sperms.”