With intimacy comes the possibility of engulfment or being taken hostage by the demands of others. We may have distorted perceptions of the demands and obligations placed upon us by those who claim to love us. Trusting that love to be unconditional is almost impossible for us, and we are always scanning for the unstated subtext or hidden agenda connected to this love.

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Mary Crocker Cook, Awakening Hope. A Developmental, Behavioral, Biological Approach to Codependency Treatment..

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