“People go their whole lives wanting to be admired for their hidden qualities.”

“Sex is like art: if you know what youre doing, you dont know what youre doing.”

“Intelligence and effort can be no compensation for ugliness.”

“I dont like being left for long struggling with my dangerous self.”

“The past looks worse the closer you look at it.”

“Old age is the new childhood.”

“I have learned that the libido, like Elvis and jealousy, never dies. I know copulators of eighty-five. Who said you need an erection, a body or an orgasm for sex?”

“As far as I'm concerned the last good man went when Elvis died.”

“I remember the revelation it was to me when I realized I'd rather be smart in the way Elvis Presley was than in the way, say, Ludwig Wittgenstein was. The thing was, you could imagine you could be ...”

“Once upon a time, there was a generation of parents who were certain that Elvis Presley's unashamed hip-swivellingvwas most certainly the end of society.”

“If I'm working this hard in the morning, I'd prefer it be because my man has woken me up with an eight-inch nudge.”

“There was something about the man that was throwing her right off, and it had everything to do with the boner in his pants.”