Quotes by Paul O'Grady

“I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards.”

“My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I'd rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney's bar...”

“I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV.”

“I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had wer...”

“I don't live with people, that's why my relationships last. I'm not romantic. Even when I was a teenager if somebody asked if they could hold my hand I'd say, - no, it's not heavy, I can hold it my...”