Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

“Ideology, politics and journalism, which luxuriate in failure, are impotent in the face of hope and joy.”

“The idea of capitalism is not just success but also the failure that allows success to happen.”

“Adam Smith's huge failure was the fact that he did not foresee the industrial revolution.”

“The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had s...”

“Children live in the only successful Marxist state ever created: the family. 'From each according to his ability, to each according to his need' is the family's practice as well as its theory. Even...”

“Horses and horsepower alike are about status and being cool.”

“A 'farm' today means 100,000 chickens in a space the size of a Motel 6 shower stall.”

“Space has always been confusing to politics.”

“The words 'Space Age' have a quaint, nostalgic tone - sitting on midcentury modern furniture watching 'The Jetsons.'”

“Obama's space policy doesn't differ much from George W. Bush's.”

“There are a few things that people all around the world need to admit to themselves. Trade restraints slow economic growth, the euro is not a reserve currency, and scoreless sports ties are boring.”

“When I was fifteen, I dreamed of living in the big city, as many a young person does if he is artistic and sensitive. By 'artistic and sensitive' I mean short, skinny, unkissed, bad at sports, and ...”

“The purpose of sports - even foreign sports - is not to bore people.”

“Computers seem a little too adaptively flexible, like the strange natives, odd societies, and head cases we study in the social sciences. There's more opposable thumb in the digital world than I ca...”

“What Alexander Graham Bell thought up occupied less space than a flower vase. Now it's so small that I have to search all my pockets to discover I've received a spam text.”

“Don't send funny greeting cards on birthdays or at Christmas. Save them for funerals, when their cheery effect is needed.”

“A very quiet and tasteful way to be famous is to have a famous relative. Then you can not only be nothing, you can do nothing too.”

“Let's reintroduce corporal punishment in the schools - and use it on the teachers.”

“The problem with public school is not overcrowding in the classroom. The problem is not teacher unions. The problem is not underfunding or lack of computer equipment. The problem is your damn kids.”

“To mistrust science and deny the validity of scientific method is to resign your job as a human. You'd better go look for work as a plant or wild animal.”