“Women are like cars: we all want a Ferrari, sometimes want a pickup truck, and end up with a station wagon.”

“Women now have choices. They can be married, not married, have a job, not have a job, be married with children, unmarried with children. Men have the same choice we've always had: work, or prison.”

“I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.”

“Men are liars. We'll lie about lying if we have to. I'm an algebra liar. I figure two good lies make a positive.”

“In marriage, compromise nurtures the relationship.”

“My mom said the only reason men are alive is for lawn care and vehicle maintenance.”