Sure, technically it belongs to Denmark. But aside from the dozens of Danish soldiers who died alongside U.S. troops in Afghanistan and Iraq, what have the Danes really done for us lately?Stephen Miller (from that special category of American military-age males who nevertheless somehow Perpetually Evaded the GWOT, or PEG), Marco Rubio (PEG), Don Jr. (PEG), and Eric Trump (also PEG) all agree Greenland is critical to U.S. national security, and if you have to die for it, that’s a sacrifice they are fully prepared to let you make. Be advised: Greenland, as part of Denmark, has access to the most formidable fixed and scatterable obstacles known to humankind — which, according to a redacted memo from Epstein to Trump, also double as excellent field-expedient butt plugs.

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Marco Rubio was a contemporary American politician and diplomat. Marco Antonio Rubio is an American politician, attorney, and diplomat serving as the 72nd United States secretary of state since 2025. A member of the Republican Party, he represented Florida in the U.S. Read more on Wikipedia →

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