“The way I saw it, one of the single greatest advantages of being in a relationship was that you got to eat off the other person's plate.”

“I was pretty sure I'd just had a nerdgasm.”

“My libido was doing the humpy dance while dressed in Milkbone pasties and a thong.”

“Those who work, knows the strength of labour.”

“I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the cove...”

“I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in p...”