“No one knows his true character until he has run out of gas, purchased something on the installment plan and raised an adolescent.”

“Our children await Christmas presents like politicians getting in election returns: there's the Uncle Fred precinct and the Aunt Ruth district still to come in.”

“Children in a family are like flowers in a bouquet: there's always one determined to face in an opposite direction from the way the arranger desires.”

“Eating without conversation is only stoking.”

“Weather means more when you have a garden. There's nothing like listening to a shower and thinking how it is soaking in around your green beans.”

“If at first you don't succeed, blame your parents.”

“I have a romantic side.”

“Take sides! Always take sides! You will sometimes be wrong - but the man who refuses to take sides must always be wrong.”

“You always admire what you really don't understand.”