It isn't death, pain, exile or anything else you care to mention that accounts for the way we act, only our opinion about death, pain and the rest.
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About Epictetus
Epictetus was Greek stoic philosopher (c. 50 – c. 135). Epictetus was a Greek Stoic philosopher. He was born into slavery at Hierapolis, Phrygia and lived in Rome until his banishment, after which he spent the rest of his life in Nicopolis in northwestern Greece. Read more on Wikipedia →