“And thats basically the end of this story. I know it sounds unbelievable and all. And Im not saying I can explain all the time travel parts or the magical tattoo parts. You may not even believe me....”

“I figured I only had about two seconds to live. Its amazing how many thoughts you can have in two seconds.”

“I had a choice. My instincts told me to hurry up and give the choking man the Heimlich maneuver. My brain told me to stay still until he expired and chalk this one up to divine intervention.”

“I shrieked like a little girl, which, if you think about it, makes total sense.”

“You know how they say that right before you die your life flashes before your eyes? It doesnt. That is just a notion they came up with for books and movies to make death seem romantic. Heres what r...”

“This was a true pants-pooping moment.”

“Watching our closest living relatives, the chimpanzees, is reading the first chapter of human-beings adventures in this universe!”

“Without pain, without sacrifice we would have nothing. Like the first monkey shot into space.”

“I got a pet monkey called Charlie Chan.”

“You never monkey with the truth.”

“Baby, you want to talk about what happened, go for it. Im listening. But you know, Im no angel, and Im not finished dancing with the devil. If anyone ever hurts you like that again, theres nothing ...”

“How do you rebel in a family of rebels?”

“I mean, were you born a freak? I asked. I flinched at my own words. I didnt mean to be rude it just came out that way. The girl rolled her eyes to me. I dont know. Were you born stupid? Okay, maybe...”