“The federal government spends millions to run the Postal Service. I could lose your mail for half of that.”

“I admit I do have some drawbacks and limitations as a candidate. Although I am a professional comedian, some of my critics maintain that this is not enough. I cannot deny that I stand before you un...”

“In opposition to sex education: Let the kids today learn it where we did - in the gutter.”

“Universe is nothing, but human thought.”

“Nothing is the whole story. The selfs curse and the writers.”

“There's a fine line, you know. Between having space and having nothing.”

“Give yourself for the course of living for others, improving their lives, becoming a deliverer to a nation and you will never be at the losing end”

“Fanatics are like debris following the course of the wind, they are swept around like sand, and convinced to believe in what they do not understand.”

“During the course of your temporary hurdles, keep searching for a tad of optimism”

“Respect commands itself and can neither be given nor withheld when it is due.”