“I don't want to play golf. When I hit a ball, I want someone else to go chase it.”

“Sometimes a strikeout means that the sluggers girlfriend just ran off with the UPS driver. Sometimes a muffed ground ball means that the shortstops baby daughter has a pain in her head that wont go...”

“Youre not going to always hit a home run in life. Youre going to strike out! Youre going to walk to the dugout of life, frustrated, while spectators chirp your name in judgment. Theyre afraid to ev...”

“He has the body of a professional athlete, chiseled to perfection in all the right places.”

“I did not dread the dark winter as people do when they have lost their youth and live alone in some great city.”

“I like cool jackets - a nice fall or winter coat. You can get a lot of use out of it, and you'll wear it frequently, so it can really set the tone of your uniform for the season.”

“Short boots are cool, in my humble opinion. They say, 'Hey! Winter is over, but summer hasn't yet arrived - so enjoy this halfway point!'”

“That is one good thing about this worldthere are always sure to be more springs.”

“People talk about the beauty of the spring, but I can't see it. The trees are brown and bare, slimy with rain. Some are crawling with new purple hairs. And the buds are bulging like tumorous acne, ...”

“It is so small a thing to have enjoyed the sun, to have lived light in the spring, to have loved, to have thought, to have done.”