“Use your profession to fund your passion.”

“It is sad that people need alcohol to make them happy.”

“There is enough dough in the world to make bread for us all to eat together.”

“I may not be where I want to be but I'm thankful for not being where I used to be.”

“My mind may be sober, but my confidence is high!”

“A good woman keeps her mind right and her body tight.”

“Our labour preserves us from three great evils -- weariness, vice, and want.”

“Doing nothing is the hardest torture that a person can put himself through. For he is always brought face to face with his own self, which demands that he gives account for the sun which he useless...”

“We just philosophize, complain of boredom, or drink vodka. It's so clear, you see, that if we're to begin living in the present, we must first of all redeem our past and then be done with it foreve...”

“We often miss opportunity because it's dressed in overalls and looks like work”

“Sloth makes all things difficult, but industry all easy; and he that riseth late must trot all day, and shall scarce overtake his business at night; while laziness travels so slowly, that poverty s...”

“My get-up-and-go often leaves without me.”

“God, don't they teach you how to spell these days?""No," I answer. "They teach us to use spell-check.”

“Standing in the shower, I feel something on the back of my leg that turns out to be my ass.”

“Standing in the shower, I feel something on the back of my leg that turns out to be my ass.”