Rigor Mortis. I say, almost as an apology. But he wont have any of it. He locks onto my gaze. He doesnt lean forward, but he doesnt need to, suddenly the room feels like its filled with him. His presence floats in the air like a noxious gas, and Im breathing it in. Ike, you dont get it. Thats why I wanted to talk to you. Do you think I have the right to talk to anyone? Do you think its fun to have a human brain in a pets body? Sure, I have Kamu. And thats fugging great, but guess what? Kamu is queen to be, and emotionally unstable. I've never heard Rig talk this powerfully before, but he doesnt seem scary, just sad. And then I get someone else I can actually talk to, Ike, I get you. And you dont treat me like Im a pet and you talk about Kamu like she needs to be protected and you are there. You are there, and you keep being there, and the only one whos ever there is Kamu, but now there is Ike. And Ike is perfect, albeit a bit dense, but perfect. Rig, Im really sorry bu- I start, I dont know how much more of this I can take. With each sentence Rig loses some of his force, he sounds more pathetic and lost. Im not done. He pronounces the words in such a voice that it makes me shut up more than the context of the sentence does. And all I want is to be with this boy who is there, this boy who is my friend, this boy who isnt always caught up in politics. All I want is to have my one good break. He finishes. I keep holding his eye contact, and his eyes, they already reflect hurt and rejectment. I dont know if from meor from life.
