“I think I have many spenglerian moods about the country, and that some day people will look back and think 'this was a really goofy, unadmirable stupid time.”

“The very phrase 'Oscar night' used to accelerate my pulse. For one thing - dating myself - it meant Bob Hope. He always had good, strong jokes, that faultless delivery, and always a new joke about ...”

“I think we live in an age of increasing mediocrity.”

“William F. Buckley was a man who had a great capacity for fun and for amusing himself by amazing others.”

“Show people tend to treat their finances like their dentistry. They assume the man handling it knows what he is doing.”

“I felt bad when George Bush was booed. But only briefly. My sympathy for that man has a half-life of about four seconds.”

“Those who work, knows the strength of labour.”

“I only have so much willpower, Helen," he whispered. "And since you apparently sleep in the most ridiculously transparent tank top I've ever seen, I'm going to have to ask you to get under the cove...”

“I'm infatuated with you, I cannot deny it. Physically speaking, you're a very attractive man. But I don't like you, the vast majority of the time. So far as I can gather, you behave abominably in p...”