“I wanted to find a nice quiet spot, go to sleep, and dream about kittens.”

“Great. I guess you're the dog whisperer, vampire edition.”

“What was it about women and crying that made me feel like crap? They must have guilt pheromones in their tears.”

“Despite the weight of the world on my shoulders, the temptation to stop and smell the supernatural roses tugged on my sleeves a time or two.”

“Can I finish my blasted story? We'll get to supernatural kindergarten later.”

“Hell, yeah, Ryland. Man up and carpe girl.”

“A true success is when you become a reason for a Smile on their face.”

“You've got a lot of choices. If getting out of bed in the morning is a chore and you're not smiling on a regular basis, try another choice.”

“You can only hold a smile for so long, after that it's just teeth.”

“No duty is more urgent than that of returning thanks.”

“I refused David Letterman's proposal of marriage for obvious reasons, but thanks for asking.”

“Why would I retire? Sit at home and watch TV? No thanks. I'd rather be out playing.”

“Time is the least thing we have of.”