Were only given as much as the heart can endure, What does not kill you makes you stronger, Our sorrows provide us with the lessons we most need to learn: these are the kinds of phrases that enrage my injured friend. Indeed, one would be hard-pressed to come up with a spiritual lesson that demands becoming a quadriparalytic. The tepid there must be a reason for it notion sometimes floated by religious or quasi-religious acquaintances or bystanders, is, to her, another form of violence. She has no time for it. She is too busy asking, in this changed form, what makes a livable life, and how she can live it.

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Maggie Nelson, Bluets.

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