“Curiouser and curiouser, as Alice in Wonderland would say”

“Once a generation there is a girl born who is destined to slay the vampires.”

“So not only do I have to go out and fight evil villains, I have to take up woodworking, too?”

“I never said becoming the slayer would be a field trip to a Justin Bieber concert.”

“Once bitten, totally smitten.”

“And then he kisses me. Yes, the beautiful vampire, the dark general, the one who never gets close to anyone, leans in and presses his lips against mine. This kiss is soft. Gentle. Light. Like a but...”

“Id so rather be a living snack than dead meat.”

“SPIDER: I guess youve got a point. RAYNIEDAY: No, Ive got a stake, LOL.”

“OMG, RAYNE! THAT’S SO CRAZYPANTS! I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU OF ALL PEOPLE ARE NOW THE SLAYER! YOU’RE LIKE SOME SUPERHERO OR SOMETHING! DO YOU GET POWERS LIKE BUFFY? AND MORE IMPORTANT, DO U GET TO HOOK U...”

“Did you just mentally pistol whip that guy, with his own gun? Nice, Amber. I would have just killed him.”

“Getting up from the bed, Dominick approaches me at a slow predatory pace. Once again, I cannot move my feet.”

“Goddamn it, do it yourself. Youre five hundred years old and you cant use a telephone? Read the directions. What are you, an immortal idiot?”