Everyone is in pain. Most people think pain in massage means something is happening, and if they can endure it, they will be improved, but sometimes the only thing pain means is pain.It a very easy mistake to make, though.. Shed refused for the longest time to get therapy or take any psychoactive drugs because shed felt that the darkness was necessary, not just for her as an actor, but as a human being. You didnt have to feel slightly terrible all the time, as it turns out. Her only worry now was that slightly terrible was not a flaw in her chemistry, but an appropriate response to being the kind of person that she was. Youre very hard on yourself, Luke said. Can you imagine the kind of person that Id be if I wasnt hard on myself? she said back. Luke should be sympathetic. He was hoping to improve the human race, and it would be hard to get there if the human race thought it was already fantastic, thanks very much.Well, she could still go dark, if she needed to, she could go dark right now. Yesterday she had done Terror. Shed done Fear and Dejection and Remorse. And because she had done Remorse as fully as a person could do it, she knew that she hadnt ever experienced that kind of pure Remorse before. What shed felt in the past was polluted Remorse, because half the time she was sorry she was also privately resentful and building a case about why the actions that had led to Remorse could be justified.