Time went by and there wasnt even sadness.You know how another patient put it? She said this feeling inside her was . . . it was anti-feeling. Like a black hole in space, and everythinghappiness, anger, hope, meaningit would all get sucked in, tipped over the event horizon, and she couldnt feel any of it. Thats the way it was for me. I walked around like everyone else, and had this wonderful opportunity at the museum, and came home to this brilliant guy who loved me and was nothing but sweet. Your father tried so hard. But I felt . . . empty. If I couldve filled that space up with anything, I wouldve. If somebody had turned to me and said, Its easy, just pour some dry cement in there and youll be a normal human girl, I wouldve done it like that. She snaps her fingers. But I couldnt. And your father couldnt do it for me.
