“If you're gonna burn a bridge behind you, make sure you've crossed it first.”

“99% of all problems can be solved by money -- and for the other 1% there's alcohol.”

“A friend told me that one day he and I would be rich and famous. I told him that I'd trade my half of the fame, for his half of the money.”

“I wish all those who've found God, would tell the rest of us where he's been hiding.”

“Writing is the dragon that lives underneath my floorboards. The one I incessantly feed for fear it may turn and devour my ass. Writing is the friend who doesn't return my phone calls; the itch I'm ...”

“A little stupid is like a little forest fire. If you happen upon some stupid, please stomp it out before it spreads.”

“Forget 'pray the gay away.' I you're more turned on by an AR-15 than a pair of tits, time for some serious therapy. Time for all you gun-humpers to come out of the closet. Is this really about the ...”

“When has a civilian ever stopped a mass shooting with an AR-15? An AR-15 is a perfect weapon for mass murderers -- not so much for self-defense. Would you bring an AR-15 along on a date? To your pl...”

“... By disarming, you at once give offense, since you show your subjects that you distrust them, either as doubting their courage, or as doubting their fidelity, each of which imputations begets ha...”

“The dripping blood our only drink,The bloody flesh our only food:In spite of which we like to thinkThat we are sound, substantial flesh and blood--Again, in spite of that, we call this Friday good.”

“...the secret to joy is to keep seeking God where we doubt He is.”

“Joy is thankfulness, and when we are joyful, that is the best expression of thanks we can offer the Lord, Who delivers us from sorrow and sin.”

“Guns are not the problem. The species is the problem.”

“This is not a book about race, though the disproportionate number of those who fell that day were black, and certain racial themes are unavoidable. It is not a book that sets out to compare the Uni...”

“1. So, disturbed kids are taking guns to school and killing teachers and classmates. We better make sure kids cant get guns.2. So, disturbed kids are taking guns to school and killing teachers and ...”